The Uncoupling
The Uncoupling
After seven incredible years Eva and I have decided to ‘Consciously Uncouple’. A terminology that represents what is now unfolding for us. The decision was mutual and made by the both of us. It wasn’t just her choice nor was it mine but something that we both have come to the conclusion that would serve us best moving forward in our next chapter of life.
Unlike some relationships that end where someone gets cheated on, or someone felt not respected, or someone felt pissed off because they aren’t getting more time with the kids or dog may lead to a bad taste in the end. This hindering what may have been an incredibly loving and expansive period in each others lives, but has now felt forgotten due to a tainted ending.
Facilitating something like this is never easy. Especially when new emotions are present and even though we don’t have kids, pets or own a house together, we do have a business in which we have founded and grown, as well as some assets we have accumulated over the years.
Though I think with our level of maturity I have no doubt we will find common ground to depart in an amicable, fair way for the both of us. That a thing like money isn’t worth the connection that we have created as we wrap up these next few weeks under the same roof for the very last time together.
Yesterday on the 11.11 Seven years to the exact date we met, we held a ceremony to close off our time together in a very special place of ours. It was beautiful and has been able to give me closure on this cycle as we reminisced on what was an absolutely incredible time. It was a great day. Very emotional as we cried, hugged and later alone I jumped into the ocean naked to cleanse for a new beginning as I slept under the stars to sit with all the feels, honoring them all.
The Chapters
What a ride that this has been. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again “There is only one Eva C” and if anyone has had the pleasure of getting to know Eva on a deeper more personal level they would come to the conclusion that you are not dealing with a basic bitch, but an intelligent, beautiful, fiery, highly driven and conscious individual that paves her own reality.
When I met her in Chiang Mai I learned very quickly that this was not no ordinary woman I was used to. Her blue eyes hypnotised me, her Arabic stunned me, her story inspired me and I felt safe enough to share my deepest secrets. From that very moment on I fell deeply in love with her. It’s like she got a bunch of dynamite, put in my pants, blew up my world and it has been a whirlwind of moments and emotions ever since. I told her where I’m from I just don’t meet women like you.
There are many things you can do for growth. Like having an awakening experience on psychedelics or study at a University for years from a professor. Though if you want profound growth and light shined on your blind spots, find yourself a conscious intimate partner. In many aspects she has helped me transition from a boy to a man in many areas of life, and I’m better human for it. Together we have gone through A LOT with so many first time experiences since Eva being my first serious relationship.
As for my growth Eva has been encouraged me to know my worth in this world, to step into my power, cultivate my voice, establish boundaries even towards her and nurture a level of self respect which was fairly non existent prior to meeting her.
In the business world she has shown me what it takes to run a business and become your own boss. Her work ethic is something I’d never seen before and how to carry yourself even when no one is watching. Another lesson was ‘how you do one thing is how you do everything.' Eva has always encouraged me on my path as a videographer constantly reminding me she was my biggest fan and told me when I could do better. What we have been able to accomplish in growing Zalah together from scratch is nothing short of amazing and will vibrate for years to come.
Eva loved my insecurities even in times where I hadn’t, which has ignited a world of healing and acceptance that only a very special person can facilitate. Connecting with Eva on an intimate level has made me a great listener, cultivate patience, better carer and a more sensual lover. This is something that money can’t buy and something that I be able to take with me forward in this next stage of life in which I will be forever grateful for.
The Decision
This year has been a big year for me, as many of you know the beginning of the year was a very challenging and dark time, but after emerging out of it I see the world in a different way. Lets just say I’m happy to be around still; and I vowed to myself to do all the things that I always wanted to do now that I have a second chance to do so.
After traveling for a bit on my own I had many moments that I simply enjoyed traveling in a way by myself that flashed me back to when I met Eva seven years ago. That level of freedom was not only fun, expansive for my growth, but deeply healing and also exhilarating for the soul. I felt alive again! something that was extremely liberating in which I forgot to feel for a while.
When we reunited in Slovakia (her hometown and my first time there) we both checked with each other to see how everything was and what really was going on. I knew her recent experiences had opened her up to new possibilities as I witnessed her growth. One thing I really admire but our relationship is how honest we can be and communicate even at the most challenging of times. We expressed what was coming up for us on the inside; and after some deep conversation it was apparent that we simply envisioned a future that looked very different from each others.
Self Reflection
There is this thing that I call ‘Getting it out of your system’. Unless you do experience these things you may live your life with some form of regret and the ol’ classic ‘what if’ that makes it hard for you to sleep at night.
Such a thing can build up resentment overtime and come out unconsciously in unhealthy ways, all in which will probably result in a separation anyway. These thoughts can be very confronting realisations to just accept life at it’s current comfortable path, though there is a deep knowing that the soul’s curiosity possesses, the need to explore what the grass feels like on the other side.
This looks very different from case to case. It could be like thinking you’ve settled down to early, that you missed the boat on that fun wild period in life, or maybe you want explore different sexual partners and and just make love to someone else for a change, or maybe you want kids and your partner doesn’t. Life is all about timing and I’ve come to the realisation and importance of it more now than ever.
For me personally I’ve realised I’m not ready to settle down until I see more of this world now that I’ve had a big lick of it. I’ve developed a travel style that is very individual as it opens me up to a new lifestyle and an array of experiences and opportunities. All in which looks very different from what Eva is calling into her next chapter and trust me after seeing where Eva grew up I totally get it. My outlook is if we were meant to get back together I’m sure it would be; and if you never try, you’ll never know and something that I may have to live out next lifetime.
Overtime we change, we want different things as we mature. Take for instance seven years ago what our fashion looked like, the company we were hanging around, the job your calling in, the stuff that we get up to on weekends, same can apply for the current partner we envision and that’s okay, nothing would be worse then us sticking around and being miserable. It’s important to be Authentic to ourselves or we will pay the price at some point.
If we continued forward knowing this I think we would be just getting in each others way. Sometimes you got to let the bird go and this to me is an evolution of our love. I honestly believe we were meant to be together for this period and as the cycle of nature continues this season has come to an end and we can both feel it, you just know.
The Feels
I am so excited and proud for what’s in store for Eva and I want nothing but the best for her. At her current trajectory there is no stopping this woman. What she was able to achieve in a few months of coming to Australia people strive their whole lifetime to obtain.
I know she will find someone out there in the future that can love her, support her, make her feel safer in ways that I couldn’t and that would make me nothing but happy to know she is taken care of. I guess my work here is done, I’d say I’ve set a pretty decent baseline, and the next guy she is with is going to be a lucky guy and for him to strap his boots on tight, these Eastern European women are built differently, if you got one you know what I’m talking bout.
Prior to this trip being single wasn’t in my field, I was getting ready to marry this woman as we were engaged. As of now I have already felt the grieving process begin. Only few will share this level of connection in ones lifetime. I have never loved anyone or anything more in this world before so separating with Eva is still so fresh. I have had my moments where it tears me up and the thought of restarting again puzzles me. Though I trust that God has a plan for me as I surrender into the unknown.
Now the ship has had a change of course which I’m adjusting to very slowly. I guess that will mean no monthly cycle support, no more IG Boyfiend, no 2am spoons, no 3/4 quarters of the bathroom filled with female products, no more dinners for two, no more Zalah business meetings, no more shared bank accounts etc. Which I guess means more energy to give to just myself which gets me kind of excited. It’s like I took a side quest that involved Eva and now I’m re aligned back on my main mission.
As for our friends and community we have connected with together. There’s no sides that need to be taken so please don’t be a stranger to either of us or hesitate inviting us to the same event.
The End of a Cycle
Eva, I will love you to the Moon and back and the Seven Galaxies far far away. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine and know you will always have a special place in my heart and the time together has been the greatest most expansive years of my life.
Anna Bahebic,
Lubim cha,
Love you
xx
Jason Wee-Siang Lim aka
Kinezy
Bucketlist Bandit
Raw Realms
+ Zac + Lenny
